Case in point: In certain parts of the world, May-December romances among gay men are treated differently than straight ones by the courts.
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While the legal age of consent ranges from 16 to 18 across the U. In Chile, for example, the age of consent is 14 for heterosexuals and 18 for gays.
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And it took until the turn of the century for the U. The porn industry, meanwhile, has made the age differences of their stars a central taboo.
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Dan Savage, the iconic gay sex columnist, has taken a practical view: That said, many gay men contine to view intergenerational romances with judgement and suspicion. And a year-old chef approaches younger dates with trepidation. Gay men I reached out to expressed similarly conflicted feelings about exploring their own daddy fetishes. Others came to embrace their age preferences later in life. I do have an age limit for dating. At 22, my dating limit is 35; 7 years younger than my parents.
Gay dating | Young people on age difference in gay relationships
Ageism is a real thing in the gay community. The older you get, the smaller your dating pool gets.
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Well, most of us are. Because then, you have no leverage, no selling point when it comes to dating. The more money you have, the more options in terms of dating you have, because a lot of gay people will overlook their prerequisites if you have money. Well, not just gay people….
The real rules about old and young you can date
Age generally does not seem to be a major issue for many, as long as it is with a legal and consensual adult. On people in relationships with a notable age difference the likes of Somizi and Mohale, for example , some agree that the assumptions and backlash the couple have received is unfair. Alutha Tshezi, 24, Cape Town. As we grow older, we get to experience more, specifically more trauma in the form of rejection and heart breaks; and I believe this happens more rapidly and commonly for queer people, especially in the early twenties.
The dating pool is limited generally within the gay community because desirability is based on certain standards of beauty, class and education , etc. We are a shallow bunch and that makes it very difficult to widen our horizons when it comes to dating. The way the relationship is set up is actually quite common — a wealthy much older man, with a young and very beautiful partner — especially in entertainment.
Having said that, I think people should just mind their business and let the couple be.
And in some cases, it can find the older man branded a pervert or manipulator while his younger counterpart is dismissed as a gold digger. They began dating three years ago after meeting online.
Why Have Massive Age Differences Long Been Common in Gay Dating?
But the age gap worried me, even though the more time we spent together, the more we got on. And soon I realised I was being prejudiced about younger guys. Dennis, 29, adds: Age differences between gay couples are much more common that straight ones. Freud might encourage the assumption that there are a few father issues for both the younger and older man. We may see manipulation, a life crisis, one being kept or something worse.
However, an age gap relationship can be functional and successful if built on solid foundations with mutuality.
Gay age gaps like that between Tom and Dustin are nothing new. Oscar Wilde was 36 when he became involved with the year-old Lord Alfred Douglas. Stephen Fry made headlines in when he started dating actor Steven Webb, despite their year age difference.